It is the middle of the week and everyone is in the house because of the Corona Virus. Justin has no schedule except to sit and study. Jordan has soccer practice on Monday and Wednesday. Aidan has study room everyday so he seems to be in the best shape of all of us. My husband went to school for a faculty meeting and I am trying to figure out how to teach online. 

This leaves us with lots of time on our hands. Way, way too much screen time for everyone! It would be so much better if I could just say, "Go play outside!" but this really isn't an option.

One of the good things about all of this time is I can read whenever I want to. I have been reading Faces at the Cross by J. Barrie Shepherd. I am reading this for Lent, which began last week. The book has more than 40 entries that are written in the first person. These are all people who were there during the Crucifixion. The entry I want to share with you is J. Barrie Shepherd's interpretation of what was going through Mary Magadelene's mind during the crucifixion.

The Face of Magdalen

So did we love him wrongly, after all?
Could this grim horror have been prevented?
Might it have never had to happen,
if we, if I, had only figured out the right way
to respond to all the love we found,
and felt and feasted on him. 

His love was unconditional,
always there for me,
even when he might have been provoked,
annoyed or disappointed 
in something I had said or done,
an attitude to others.
Our love -
mine I do know about, for sure - 
our love was always eager to possess. 
We loved him, those of us who got close enough,
just as one might love a thing of beauty,
cherishing its grace and loveliness, needing to reach out and grasp it,
have it be at our disposal, 
ready to be enjoyed at any moment.

He said his love, God's love, 
was just like that, 
was always there for us,
shining on us like the sun,
and would never let us down.
We didn't have to make it ours,
lock it up and throw away the key,
couldn't do that anyway, 
because God's love can not be held, 
can only be received and passed along.

And right then,
when we were with him, 
where he was tell us all this,
we could believe it, at least I could.
Trouble was,
he wasn't always there
and then the doubts began again.

You see, love is such a basic thing,
being loved is so important that,
if you can't be certain sure God loves you
then you just have to love yourself.
You have to watch out all the time
to make sure you don't get hurt.
You have to realize,
accept the fact that everybody else 
is busy loving their own selves.
So you can never fully trust them
because finally, when a life is on the line,
they will want it to be yours, 
rather than theirs.

See what happened to him.
See where his God-love got him in the end.
Do you suppose he still believes in it up there?
Do you think, with all the hurt and hate
He's seen these past few hours,
he still hangs on to what he taught,
and walked and worked at with us
all those weeks and months
that seemed to be leading toward forever
till they ended with a crash?

Now even the two thieves 
are cursing at him in their desperation.
Why must they pick on him?
Didn't they know?
His suffering's as bad as theirs,
and he's done nothing to deserve it.
Just to listen to them argue,
even up there when all is lost 
they can't agree on anything it seems.

What's that?
One of them is defending Jesus,
asking him to bless him in his death?
And jesus is assuring him or paradise,
blessing the legionaries too
as they gamble for his seamless robe.

What love is this?
What wondrous love is this?
Of all the miracles
I've witnessed these past months,
the miracle he brought about in my own life, 
this is the richest, truest of them all.
Even death, this cruel, bloody death,
cannot quench the flow of God's love in this man,
this man I love, and learn to in God by.

His body weakens fast now.
It's getting harder and harder for him to breathe.
And yet the love, God's love in him,
goes on, and on, and on.
It's almost as if that love can never die;
almost as if, beyond the grave, 
God's love in him will still go on,
will still be with me giving strength 
to love the way he did,
even to die the way he dies,
God grant it may be so.

One thing I know, 
whether we loved him wrong or not,
he loved us right.

______________________

Christ loves us in a way we can barely comprehend. He endured the cross for us. I am more and more certain of my own sinfulness as I walk through this life, but Jesus died to change all that. His arms are stretched out toward you. Accept his gift! 

The thought I have been home with my children for the past two weeks and it has been good. We have played, we have engaged, we have read, we have written, and we have done all kinds of things to keep everyone busy! We have yelled, we have hugged, we have enjoyed each other's company, and we have fellowship with Him! God is there in the midst of everything. 

I have a bit of an outlet with this blog. I can get on the computer at any time and write. God is there in the midst of this too.

With that said, I am willing to admit to the world that homeschooling has got to be the hardest thing in the world to do well. I feel like I am surviving. I am reading water. I want so much to bless my children but it is so hard.

This morning was a case in point. I was the first one out of bed and it was 8:00 am! We went to bed early. I had intentions of getting up around 7 but it just didn't happen. 

The other case in point is the morning Bible reading. I had intentions of blessing the boys with a Bible reading this morning. I wanted them to eat their breakfast and listen to the story of how much God loves them. The thought was food for the bodies and food for their souls. They barely listen to the Jesus Storybook Bible or to Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing. I keep hoping for a slightly longer interaction! 

Another case in point in screen time. They are constantly wanting screens, and it is a constantly battle to get them off of the screens. As I write this, my youngest is in the kitchen, playing on my phone. He enjoys Youtube videos! LOL!  Lord help me with this!

I do get them to do a little bit of handwriting and write in a journal everyday. They don't really like it. I hope they will see the merit in it someday. Small things build character. I really am interested in building up the character of my children.

We went swimming today down at the reservoir. There are free pools available from 9 to 5, so we went down after lunch. It was so good to splash in the water for an hour and a half! They were happy to play. The boys found a couple of friends to play volleyball with. The pools are a God-send!

So what do other people with their children during the holidays? My other question is what do homeschooling Moms do to keep their children busy and happy? Are there lessons and activities all day? Are there moments when you through up your hands and say, "I know you're bored! Find something to do!"

I just want to say that I admire you homeschooling Moms.

You have taken the hardest job on earth and you have added teaching to it! God bless you!

You serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner. God bless you!

You plan lessons for your children. God bless you!

You tolerate artistic messes in your home. God bless you!

You slow down to enjoy your children. God bless you!

You encourage them to read when they are bored. God bless you!

You encourage them to find something to do when they are bored. God bless you!

You let them capture than bug and encourage them to let it go. God bless you!

You let them listen to Mozart and Beethoven and hope it inspires. God bless you!
​
You stop and smell the flower that your youngest brought to you. God bless you!

You tuck them in at night with a good night kiss and hug. God bless you!

And you fall into bed exhausted from the activities of the day. Tomorrow you will wake up and repeat it all again. God bless you!

I will be in a better mood when there is a change in the weather (it's 35 degrees as we speak!), but for now I would like to say kudos to you! You are amazing! You are doing the hardest job on earth! 

​I admire and love what you do!

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

​I have been reading through the gospels about the crucifixion as I prepare Sunday School sermons leading up to Easter. Yesterday and today, I spent quite a bit of time reading through the chapters in the gospels leading up to the point where Christ died.


​
I admit, it is incredibly hard to get through the story. I continually see an innocent man wrongly accused, political maneuvering, and tragic circumstances.

I love the change in the story as it moves from an innocent death to a realization that this death, this sacrifice, really is the Son of God giving up his life for others. 

As it turns upside down, love and grace win. Jesus is the beautiful sacrifice. His legacy is love, eternal life, good triumphing over evil, love winning over legalism.

And it got me thinking about legacy. What do I want my legacy to be?

I hope and pray my legacy to those around me will be a life that brings others into their own God-given grace. I hope that the power of grace that lives in me will encourage and help others to live out their own stories of grace and compassion. My story leads into other stories of how God changes lives and how those lives change others.

I believe that part of my legacy is in the words that I write so, here are some words to think about that I hope will encourage loved ones.

Live in Jesus. Walk your road with Him. Dance to music, cry with Him, learn from Him, be with him. Tell others about him.

Every day, every year that I know Him, He gets better. He gets better because I know more surely for who he is.

Jesus satisfies. His way brings peace and His love brings healing. Never allow circumstances to overshadow this reality. 

Celebrate life, every day, as often as you can. 

He has planted sunrises and had the sun set to remind you and I that He is there at the beginning of the day and at the end. 

When your burdens are heavy, He has your back and your front.

Don't waste time in the guilt of never being good enough. He is good enough, and your nearness to Him makes you good too. 

Give grace to everyone you meet. Bitterness kills the mind and soul. 

Don't take on the anger and guilt of others. Just wait patiently for darkness to pass. 

Remember that I am praying for you, believing in you, thanking God for you. The story of our lives together will be told forever throughout eternity.

Show others the love and grace of Jesus, and then, when hearts are open, tell them about how they may know Him. 

Teach your children and other children about Him every day and live with integrity in front of them because you are the first Bible they will ever read. You and I can pass on His messages and righteousness from one generation to another. 

Whatever you do, do it for God's glory. Create music, write books, cook meals, plant flowers, build websites. Do whatever God has gifted you to do. Use all that you have for his glory.

Like Paul, at the end, I want to say that I have fought the good fight and finished the course set out for me. It is a privilege to be able to walk hand in hand with Him everyday and to be a part of His Kingdom.

Dark tests do come, but remember they are temporary. He left us His peace, and He reminded us to take courage. 

Take courage. Hold fast. This trial will pass soon enough, and you will have an amazing story to tell.

Think of the feasting that is to come in heaven. Hold on to that in all trials. In the end, there is a party, a great feast, a beautiful rousing of other believers telling their stories of how HE changed it all. We will break the bread, drink the wine, celebrate His presence. 

​Believe and celebrate.

#
You can't conceive, my child, nor can I or anyone, the appealing strangeness of the mercy of God. Graham Greene

To observe Lent is to strike at the root of such complacency. Lent is a time of preparation, a time to return to the desert where Jesus spent forty difficult days preparing himself for his ministry. He allowed himself to be tested, and if we are serious about following Christ we will do the same. 

Lent is traditionally associated with penitence, fasting, alms-giving, and prayer. It is a time to give things up and to balance it by giving to those in need. Whatever else it may be, Lent should never be morose. It does not have to be an annual ordeal where we begrudgingly forgo a handful of pleasures. 

We need to remember that Lent is an opportunity, not a requirement.

After all, it is the Church's springtime. Out of the darkness of sin's winter, a repentant, empowered people emerge. It's little wonder that some refer to it "this joyful season!"

Let's borrow from C.S. Lewis. Lent is the season in which we ought to be surprised by joy. 

Our self sacrifice serves no purpose unless, by laying aside this or that desire, we are able to focus on our heart's deepest longing: unity with Christ. 

In Christ, in His suffering and death, his resurrection and triumph, we find our truest joy.

This joy is costly. It arises from the horror of our sin, which crucified Christ. 

This is a kind of dread. There is this nagging sense that we have missed something important and have been somehow untrue to ourselves, to others, and to God. 

Lent is a good time to confront the source of that feeling.

It is a time to let go of excuses for failings. 

It is a time to ask God what we really look like.

Importantly, it is a time to face up to the personal role each of us plays in prolonging Christ's agony at Golgotha.

Richard John Neuhaus put it this way: "Send not to know by whom the nails were driven, they were driven by you, by me."

The Good News is that Christ overcame all our sins.

His resurrection frees us from ourselves. 

That beautiful empty tomb has turned everything around. 

We move from all that is wrong with us and with the world, and spurs us to experience abundant life. 

Lent lets us discover Christ anew. He is the scarred God, the weak and wretched God, the crucified and dying God of blood and despair amid the alluring gods of our feel good age.

Christ reveals the appalling strangeness of divine mercy and the Love from which it springs. 

Love that could not stay in an imprisoned, cold tomb.

We will surrender to Christ again. 

#Lent #Easter #Easterjoy #Christ #crucifixion #beauty #love

"Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness"  Psalm 29:2 KJV

This is a provocative phrase that sets two nouns that do not ordinarily hang out together, beauty and holiness, in company with the verb worship.  Worship, an energetic and all involving verb.

Beauty is splendor, grandeur, adornment. Life - core existence - spills over the containers of mere survival or utility. 

Holiness. An interior fire, a passion for living in and for God. A capacity for exuberance in the presence of God. In His presence there are springs deep within and around us which we drink and sing God.

It's life really. Beauty is the outside and holiness the inside of what is essentially the same thing. It is life God created and God blessed, life here and now. 

When we get glimpses of the intricate connections between everything we see and can't see, the usual metaphor is "heaven and earth". When we sense the pulse and surge of life within and around us, our spontaneous response is to worship.

Worship is the most soul-involving, reality-assimilating act available to human beings. We are most ourselves, our image-of-God selves, when we worship: "O worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness."

_________

Of course, the issue is that both beauty and holiness are in short supply. Beauty is commonly trivialized in our culture, reduced to pretty or nice, or it is mere decoration.

But beauty isn't an add-on. It is not an extra. Its not what we pay attention to when we break from reality. Beauty is fundamental. It is evidence of inherent wholeness and goodness of things. It is life in excess of what we can manage or make on our own. 

Beauty arrives through a sustained and adorational attentiveness to what is there: a rock, a flower, a bird, a face, a rustle in the trees, a storm crashing through the mountains.

When we are tired and our senses dull and our attention wavers, writers, singers, artists, all grab us and say, "Look, listen, feel! Embrace and respond to life within you and around you!" This is what the poet of Psalm 29 is doing.

"Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it." Mary Oliver wrote these words and it adequately captures verse two.

If the fate of beauty in culture is to be trivialized, the fate of holiness is to be reduced to blandness. Many sectarian groups reduce life to behaviors and cliches that can be certified as safe. Goodness in a straitjacket if you will, truth drained of mystery, beauty reduced to platitudes or knickknacks. Ellen Glasgow had a wonderful line in her autobiography where she described her father, a Presbyterian elder full of rectitude and rigid with duty: "He was entirely unselfish, and in his long life ... never committed a pleasure."

Holiness is in wild opposition to all this banality and blandness. We are introduced to it through the stories of the burning bush in Midian, the mountain on fire at Sinai, the smoke and angel filled temple in Jerusalem. We find ourselves in the presence of God alive, with life far in excess of anything we imagined. This God-life cannot be domesticated or used: it can only be entered into on its own terms. Moses and Isaiah walked out of those stories on fire themselves, energized for lifelong, life-giving vocations. Holiness did not make God smaller so they could use God in convenient and manageable projects. It made those men larger.

Frederick Buechner took on the task of re-imagining holiness. He put the fire, the smoke, and the angels back into holiness and holy living. Leo Bebb in The Book of Bebb and Godric and Brendan, and hen with Jacob in The Son of Laughter, Buechner immersed us in convincing, contagious stories of holiness that exude life, stories of life giving, life enhancing, life-deepening holiness.

Here is the catch. Life, which is characterized by its modifier holiness as God's life and God-derived life, lavish and exuberant, beyond domestication and inaccessible to control, is mediated to us in beauty. Beauty.

Beauty is our sensory access to holiness. God reveals himself in creation and in Christ, in ways we can see and hear and touch and taste, in place and person. Beauty is the term we use for these hints of more. Hints of transcendence that show us there is more going on than what we can account for.

We need to rub our noses in the stuff of this world, inhale its fragrance, press our hands in the clay, listen to songs and stories. God is our recruiting every writer, artist, musician, pastor, child, and parent he can find to help us do just that so we can worship the Lord in the beauty of Holiness.

________

The phrase "worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness" is embedded in the experience of wild, crashing thunderstorm. The storm is then turned into an extended metaphor in which the thunder is the voice of the Lord, qol-Yahweh. Seven great thunderclaps, seven times the Lord peals out:

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the Lord, over many waters. (verse 3, ESV)

For the Hebrews, the waters were chaos, the uncontrollable and uncontrolled, the home of Leviathan, anticreation if you will. But when the voice of the Lord thunders over the waters, chaos becomes subject to creation: life, an allusion to Genesis 1, our first glimpse of the beauty of holiness.

Storms are splendid, beautiful, awesome. God is on display performing the beauty of holiness, and we have a ringside seat.

The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;
the Lord breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf,
and Sirion like a young wild ox. (verse 5-6, ESV)

Now the imagination of this praying poet takes off: the voice of the Lord splits huge trees into kindling for bonfires and turns immense mountains into a carnival of dancing animals. Lebanon is a grand mountain range to the north of Israel, and Siren is its largest mountain, a nine-thousand-foot snow-covered peak. The cedars of Lebanon, like the sequoias of California, were renowned for their monumental majesty. We are witness to a world at play to the glory of God, in the beauty of holiness.

The voice of the Lord flashes forth flames of fire. (verse 7, ESV)

Lightning bolts stab the darkness in a magnificent light show, each lightning strike illuminating another detail in the beauty of holiness.

The voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness;
the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh. (verse 8, ESV)

An earthquake now. The Lebanon mountains at play to the north are matched by the Kadesh wilderness in ecstasy in the south. Earthquakes are normally frightening, but in this context we imagine something more like children skipping or bouncing on a trampoline. 

The voice of the Lord makes the oaks shake
and strips the forest bare,
and in his temple all cry, "Glory!" (verse 9, ESV)

Can you imagine trees whirling like partners in fast-paced dance, the voice of the Lord calling out the moves, leaves swirling from the trees like skirts and scarves of dancers, the rhythms and movements and exchanges beautiful in holiness.

Suddenly they are assembled in the temple. Oceans roaring, mountains playing, lightening flashing, wilderness skipping and tumbling, oak forest dancing. 

Every time God speaks, there is more life. The energy and exuberance in place and people accumulate.  And them we hear, "In his temple all cry, 'Glory'". 

If we have been paying attention, we are here with them. We are at worship in the beauty of holiness.

_______

The Spirit of God has descended on this old world of ours. It could be a grace-revealing gesture, raindrops on the window, a friend's forgiveness, a miracle conversion, a truth-telling poem, a rose in bloom. The beauty of holiness. And we have ringside seats.

​Henry James said that a writer is a person on whom nothing is ever lost. That sounds like a focused Christian identity to me: the men and women on whom nothing, at least thing that has to do with life - an everything does - is lost. 

Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness. (verse 2, KJV)

Amen.

I remember discussing the Robert Frost poem “The Road Not Taken” in high school and wondering what was down the path that was not as worn down.  It reminds me of real life in trying to follow a path few have chosen and even fewer seem to understand.  Psalm 1 describes two paths.  It sets the stage for the rest of the Psalms, our ultimate prayer book and evidence of every emotion imaginable. It is interesting to note that it was likely written last. It is the finishing touch, defining the contents and fixing the atmosphere on which all of the Scripture is prayed and lived.

But first a story about the Scottish Pastor Alexander Whyte.  When he was addressing a group of theological students, he said, "Ah! I envy you young men with your ministry before you., and especially that you ahead a lifetime of explaining the Psalms to your people!" His delight and and satisfaction in providing a exposition on the Psalms began at the very outset.

"Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,                                                  nor stands in the way of sinners,           
not sits in the seats of scoffers. (verse 1)

Blessed.  It's a beautiful word that announces a sense of well-being, wholeness, happiness.

Jesus used this word eight times in the Sermon on the Mount.  He laid out eight ways to be blessed that the listeners hadn't thought of before.  Here is one of many instances that Christ captured the Psalms.

The psalmist says we are blessed when we do not walk in the counsel of the wicked. As we travel in faith, we are surrounded by others who counsel, advise, urge us in ways that guarantee our happiness. Their advice is supported with statistics and documents. Have you (and I) learned to not be impressed. We are learning to listen to a different drummer.

We are also blessed if we do not stand in the way of sinners. An easier way of understanding this is to not stand around or hangout with those who aren't going anywhere.  They are "in the way" but each one stands making small talk.  They have plans, dream up projects, are great conversationalists, but if we listen long enough, we realize it is mostly hot air.

We do not in the seat of scoffers either. A seat is a place to deliberate, to make judgments, to render decisions. Scoffers look down on others who have't the sense to take a position. They sit together with the know-it-alls. It's a place of cynicism, gossip, and superficial witticisms.  No judge sits over them and no counsel informs them.  They hold nothing in authority but their own so-called cleverness.  Spurgeon, the famous British preacher, called them the "Doctors of Damnation" (The Treasury of David).  

It's important to note that there are three rejected ways of living.  They descend from "walk", "stand" and finally "sit".  It can go from activity to passivity, from the dynamic to to sedentary, sluggish immobility, internal imprisonment. 

__________

The blessed way of life is then elaborated in two phrases:

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night. (verse 2)

We are brought into the world of the Word made flesh.  The world of revelation, the Scriptures, and Jesus.  It is not superstition or guesswork.  It's a world where there is a personal relationship between a God who is involved in our salvation.  Our salvation that is revealed in the Sinai Law of Moses, the preaching of the prophets and apostles, and the good news revealed in Jesus.

We take delight in this through meditation. This does not mean to just read it or just memorize it. Meditate gives the connotation that it is something monks and nuns do in their monasteries or what you might do in contemplating a beautiful sunset.  It's something you do when you are serious about God.

In the original language, the word meditate has to do with slow thinking or slow eating.  We are to literally or slowly chew or masticate or suck on a lollipop.

The best illustration I can think of is what a dog does with a bone. I am sure you have seen it. The dog takes the bone to a private place and goes to work.  He gnaws, turns it over, licks it. He is enjoying himself and is no hurry. Often for a few hours, the dog enjoys the bone, buries, it, and returns the next day to take it up again. An average bone can last about a week.

The dog meditated his bone. You and I are to meditate the revelation in Scripture and Jesus.

___________________

The meditating person is

" ... like a tree
planted by streams of water,
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither,
In all that he does, he prospers." (verse 3)

Why is there a tree here? Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Jesus use the same image.  An example of robust, long life with strength and beauty.

"...planted by streams of water" is such a lovely detail. It is a planted tree, not something wild growing by chance.  These streams were Babylonians canals that were put into the desert to provide moisture and make agriculture possible in a land of dust of sand. 

The Hebrews were in Babylonian exile when this Psalm was written. They were the tree that had been the object of special care and cultivation, the knowledge and skill of the horticulturist God. Brains and purpose had brought to bear on this tree.

The planning and planting had been successful.  The tree bears fruit and is perpetually green. Creation and redemption are effective and not an illusion.

________________

"The wicked are not so
but are like chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous." (verses 4-5)

The chaff here is written to contrasted with the tree.  The wicked, the sinners, the scoffers have persisted in their lack of seriousness and have maintained their course on the road to nowhere.

Chaff is the closest description to nothing that was available. It has no weight, no meaning, no use. Without meaning and responsibility, the wicked have no existence to speak of at all.  It is the dried up husk of something that once bloomed, bore fruit, and brightened the landscape. The wicked are far from what they had been created to be. They are at the mercy of breezes and winds. No roots and no life. There is nothing to them, defined now only by what they are not.

The rather terrifying conclusion is that the life of the wicked/sinner/scoffer is the complete inability to be anything.

________________

"For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish." (verse 6)

These last two lines show the end result of the two ways of life, the life of the tree and the life of the chaff.  The verb here knows is alive with gospel.  It's the same verb we see in Genesis 4:1 where Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived.

This verb is deeper than our modern day notion of dealing with information.  In the Christian sense, it is firsthand relationship, personal knowledge, historical, and existential. In Christ, God knows us, and then, because the initiative has been Spirit-given to us, we know God. It is personal and experienced.

None of us are finished with finding ourselves personally in Psalm 1 until we pay meditative attention to Christ's comprehensive definition of himself in his his last conversation with his disciples.  He says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6 KJV). 

Christ gives his life as an exposition, an incarnation, a presence of how this way works itself out in our lives. This psalm gets our feet wet on the way to Jesus, reading and meditating on the Scriptures in a companionship in which we acquire a feel for the Jesus way of blessing.

Amen for the way!

.There have three major themes that have been a part of 2017.  Teaching, writing, and pastoral work.  Let's look at each in turn.

September 2017 marked the beginning of my 20th year teaching English in Korea.  This was also a year of ups and downs.  Two of my classes were cancelled at the beginning of September just as I was completing a course on history.  I did not take this very well initially.  But, it turned out to be a blessings in disguise!  Due to only thirteen hours of teaching, I was able to:

1) get to know my students very well,
2) spent time tweaking lesson plans and thinking through new possibilities on old lesson plans,
3) exercised three mornings a week and lost over 10 pounds,
4) finished an Advent book that I have been working on since Aidan was a baby,
5) started to think through a blog in resilience for educators,
6) spent more time with Aidan after school.

This was the year I worked with my lowest and most difficult student ever.  I had never encountered anyone who absolutely refused to try speaking English in class until this past semester.  He never did warm up to the idea that he could try to speak and I would support whatever he tried.  This got me thinking about how fear can paralyze and what needs to be done to get over fear and develop resilience.  This will be a new project in 2018 and I look forward to delving in.

2017 is also the year I began to think of myself as a writer.  Despite the fact that I have been blogging since 2012, I don't think I really considered myself a writer.  Why not? This blog has been a creative outlet in so many ways.  I have poured out my thoughts on a myriad of subjects including teaching, random thoughts, family events, food, and book reviews.  The only common thread running through all of this is me celebrating what I thought was important in my life.  I realized I write for me more than for an audience.

This year was the first time I got up the courage to take an online course on blogging.  I signed up for Jeff Goins Tribe Writers course.  Even though I still haven't finished the course (I'm halfway through as I write this), I learned so much about how to write well, blog well, and how to do marketing in a natural, thoughtful manner.  2018 will be the year where I conquer the fear of others being critical of what I write, start a blog on resilience for educators, and finish the editing I need to do on the Advent book I have finished.  

And no, it's not a typical Advent book in any way, shape, or form.  This non-traditional book will look at the trees in the Bible, the stories the trees tell, and the lessons that they have to offer. 

Lastly, I have been involved in pastoral work with children.  KNU New Kids was launched in October of 2015 and it has been a great ride.  I've enjoyed watching this ministry grow from a handful of students to an average of twenty.  My heart feels good when I see the kids sing, dance, and enjoy God's presence.  I have led them through worship, told Bible stories, helped them memorize verses, played games, journeyed to Bethlehem, made crafts, laughed, cried, and hoped.  I have tried to teach Bible, but in the end I hope they will develop their own unique relationship with God and enjoy His good and gracious presence.  

All of these have involved God's heart, my heart, and a huge amount of creativity.  What did God call you to in 2017? More importantly, what do you think God is calling you to do in 2018?

The winds were scornful,
Passing by;
And gathering Angels
Wondered why
A burdened Mother
Did not mind
That only animals
Were kind.
For who in all the world
Could guess
That God would search out
Loneliness.
~Sr. M. Chrysostom, O.S.B. “The Stable” from Mary Immaculate: God’s Mother and Mine Marist Press, 1946.

Jesus is God’s wounded healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus’ suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.
Our own experience with loneliness, depression, and fear can become a gift for others, especially when we have received good care. As long as our wounds are open and bleeding, we scare others away. But after someone has carefully tended to our wounds, they no longer frighten us or others….We have to trust that our own bandaged wounds will allow us to listen to others with our whole being. That is healing.
— Henri Nouwen from Bread for the Journey

Home, it's said,
is the weightiest word
in any language--
one syllable with a density
impossible to deny
or quantify.
 
You, Jesus,
chose displacement
that we might know
at- home-ness--
chose absence from
your joy of Three
that we might
have it, too.
 
You left your home
to build for us
a home that cannot 

be destroyed:
peaceful...
protected...
permanent...
true.
 
All praises be to You.

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.
Galatians 4:4-5 ESV

Merry Christmas and a beautiful winter season!  May you see Him everywhere!

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed?
And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard?
And how are they to hear without someone preaching?
And how are they to preach unless they are sent?
As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”
​
Romans 10:14-15

If You Can’t Find the Words, Preach with Your Feet.  

We were standing in her ramshackle hut — with the tarp roof — at the top of a hill.  The bare-footed woman who lived there had no shoes of her own.  And in that moment, I knew what I needed to do.

I took off my shoes and gave them to her. I walked out of her village barefoot.

I am telling you this story, not because I’m some kind of hero. The reason I’m telling you this story, is because of what happened next:

When it came time to leave, I balled up my skirt in my fists, and began to walk carefully down the rocky path. It hadn’t occurred to me that my first-world, tender feet would have trouble navigating the path. My feet were accustomed to carpet, not sharp stones. I winced with every step.

Another woman, seeing my discomfort, stepped out of her home and began to walk ahead of me. With her own, toughened bare feet, she began to kick aside sticks and rocks. She leaned over and picked up thorns with her fingers. The woman stayed several steps ahead of me, clearing a path for me. I can’t begin to tell you how humbling this was.

She never said a word, but with every step she took, I sensed the goodness of Jesus. She couldn’t speak English, so she didn’t have any words for me. But she preached a pretty amazing sermon about servanthood with those hands and feet of hers. She just smiled and kept motioning me to come farther down the path. Walking behind her, I was moved to tears, and a part of me wanted her to stop. I didn’t deserve such care.

How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news! (Romans 10:15)

Whenever I read those words in Romans, I think of that bare-footed woman who made a clear path for me. Her selfless act of love reminds me that we don’t need a lot of money, influence, power, or status to preach the good news. All we need is a willingness to walk the path with other people.

How beautiful are her feet.

Do you want to share Jesus with the world in the coming week?

Simply take those beautiful feet of yours and walk the path with others. Serve. Bow low. Give. Offer comfort, even at your own discomfort. Love. With simple acts of service, people will see Jesus alive in you. Your life will preach a sermon, even when your lips aren’t moving.

How beautiful are the feet of friends, who drive their neighbors to chemo.

How beautiful are the feet of foster mothers, who won’t stop praying for God’s unstoppable love to break through.

How beautiful are the feet of nursing-home workers, who care for our elderly brothers and sisters.

How beautiful are the feet of teachers, getting classrooms ready for new students while praying over every desk.

How beautiful are the feet of CEOs, who bring the ethic of Christ into the workplace.

How beautiful are the feet of bloggers and poets and song-writers, who string together Gospel-laced words that help us make sense of the world.

How beautiful are the feet of women everywhere who, in this moment, feel invisible and unseen in their small daily tasks but press on, because this is what God has called them to.

What you are doing matters a great deal, friend. Oh, how beautiful are your feet!

It doesn’t matter where those feet have been in the past; what matters is where they’re going today.

When you hear these words – “how beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news” – who do you think of?  

How do you preach?  Use your feet.  

​The words can be few but the steps taken together should be many.

This Post was originally on Jennifer Lee’s Blog. Walk in the word before you talk about it!  

Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10: 43–45 NIV)

Dear Lord Jesus, as I meditate on your Word, once again I realize the gospel is the most counter-intuitive, paradigm-shattering, worldview-transforming force in history. For the world, it just does not seem to make sense! Because of you, everything is upside down. Because of you, true greatness is now measured in terms of being a servant rather than owning the estate. Because of you, those who serve will be raised up to greatness.  Being first is no longer calculated by how many slaves we own but rather by how many people we serve. You have changed the value and price tags for everything.

“The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10: 45 NIV). Jesus, tattoo these words on our hearts with indelible ink; make them the most replayed song in the iPod of our soul; keep them before our eyes with neon-flashing brilliance.

This revolutionary truth contradicts our most basic instincts about everything, including salvation. We don’t want to be ransomed, as guilty rebels; we want to be coddled, as misunderstood victims. We want a second chance, not a second birth. Forgive us, Lord Jesus.

In our marriages, too often we come not to serve but to be served and to give our criticisms about many things. As leaders in your  church, we tend to associate greatness with exercising power and authority rather than washing feet and nurturing your lambs. Forgive us, Lord Jesus. What a powerful Lord you are, redeeming the huge mess we’ve made of your world.

What a gracious Savior you are, giving your life as the price for making all things new. We fall down before you, in awe of your humility and sacrifice for us. We rise to dance before you, as those upon whom you have lavished such great love, and so joyfully. ​

Lord Jesus, only you can change our hearts, and grace always runs downhill—always. We tremble to ask this, but expose our pride, humble our attitudes, and soften our hearts. Make us prefer the hidden place of service over the public place of being noticed. Make us glad to be your servants, wherever you place us. We pray in your tender and powerful name. Amen.

Reflection: How have you served in the past week?