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Lilies from Heaven

The Trouble with Lent

2/28/2015

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A good friend posted on Facebook earlier this week about a problem at work and how terrible he felt.  We were commenting back and forth about how this season of Lent leans towards seeing our own inadequacies on display.  Sin is ugly, but it does give God room to grow bigger in our lives.  We are dust, ash.

I cannot keep the law.  I need Him.

I didn't attend Ash Wednesday services this year.  Ash Wednesday. Crosses on the forehead.  These are reminders for us.  We are ash.  It's a reminder from Genesis 3:19, "Dust you are, and unto dust you shall return."

Once again, Ann Voskamp expresses the frustration and fruition of Lent in the shortest summary ever.

"I can't seem to follow through in giving up for Lent. Which makes me want to just give up Lent.  Which makes me question who I am following.  Which may precisely be the point of Lent."

We know what Lent is.  It's preparing the heart for Easter.  It is similar to Jesus being in the desert for 40 days.  It is also similar to the Israelites wandering for 40 years.  We do it so we might come to face to face with our enemy.  We sacrifice so that we might become more like Christ in his sacrifice.  

Lent teaches us how depraved we are.  We are ashes.  We are dust.  We are incapable in the flesh.  I am incapable in the flesh.  I can't keep the law. I need HIM.  

This is a tough journey that leads to joy. You are supposed to give up something.  Forfeit something.  Forfeiting becomes formation. I give up.  I forfeit.  I fast.  I forget.  I fall.  I fail.  I am ash. I am dust. 

Lent.  The word itself comes from Middle English, lente, for the season of spring.  A rebirth.  A new beginning.   Herein lies the beauty.  I am supposed to fail.  The deeper I fall into the pit of my own depravity, the deeper I will drink from the fountain of joy.  

Everything we experience from Ash Wednesday up through Easter is a reminder of how great the Gift really is. Reconciliation for the world here and now.  

Enlightenment, transformation, and salvation are gifts we will experience as we move through this season.  

Can you feel the Gift start to move through you?  Grace and peace filling your space.
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What Do You Do When You Feel Blue?

2/7/2015

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I have been on vacation for just over two weeks.  The first week was great.  I met people for lunches, spent a little too much money, enjoyed the sunshine and my children, and thought about all the stuff I need to get done before the semester starts again in March.  The second week was a series of unfortunate events where small stuff got done but nothing major emerged.

Yesterday, I was angry with myself for about 45 minutes.  I start out the day with these green smoothies.  I love them.  I drink them even when they don't taste good.  Yesterday, I didn't see a little piece of plastic and it made its way into my smoothie in little bits and pieces.  My husband gagged on it.  I felt like I had been torn in half for some reason and started crying.  It shouldn't have been a big deal, but it was.

I felt awful.  I went into the bedroom and ignored everyone to process my emotions.  Why was I such a wreck?  Why couldn't I process this quickly and get on with the day?  My husband did come in and hold me hand and tell me to get up and get over it.  I did.

The blues, anger, depression.  What are you supposed to do with these emotions?  I really didn't have a clue yesterday.  I needed a reminder (godly advice disguised in husband form) that it was just a mistake.

You see, I have ridiculously high expectations of myself.  I am supposed to be able to exercise every morning, prepare healthy food for everyone in the family to eat, get eight hours of paperwork done in half the time, read a dozen books before this vacation is over, and relax in the process.  Who am I kidding? Even as I read this, it sounds ridiculous.  

I must remind myself daily that I am one woman who is taking care of a large family and the only really big thing I need to do is be in tune with God.  Listening the Holy Spirit will fill my time more than adequately and it is most certainly better than my own decisions on how to fill my time.

This is my prayer for this month.  

Dear Lord, work through me.  Reach other people through me and through the things that I do.  Help me to be loving, thoughtful, and willing to let go of all of my perfectionist tendencies.  

Amen.

P.S. Yes, readers.  This is one of those posts where I am preaching to myself.  
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