Time
Have you thought about it? Most of the time, I think I don’t have enough of it. There are always deadlines to meet, meals to prepare, things to get done before the weekend hits. And it is summer. It is time to slow down and actually think about it.

Here are my practical thoughts. I know I have six more weeks until I graduate from Framingham University with A Masters of Education in TESOL.  I also know it is going to be at least a year and half before I am officially a pastor with the Nazarene Church. I also know that my children are getting taller, a slightly different way to be marking time.

Here are my spiritual thoughts. First and foremost, time is a gift.  Time is a creation of God, right after the second creation of God — light, which marks time.  In the very first chapter of Genesis, God separates light and darkness, calls one day and one night, and there was evening and morning — the beginning of time, which is declared good (Genesis 1:1-5). 

Time is one of creation’s “goods”.  As Thomas Merton explains: “Time for the Christian is then the sphere of his spontaneity, a sacramental gift in which he can allow his freedom to deploy itself in joy.”
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Do we receive time as a good gift from God, the matrix in which we can allow freedom to “deploy itself in joy”? Do we experience time as one of the many aspects of creation that we are to enjoy and to steward, or do we experience time as a taskmaster? Do we manage time, or does time manage us?

From God’s point of time there is lots of time, an eternity of it.  It follows that there will be plenty of time for what God intends to accomplish.  Personally, I have come to believe that God will give me the time to accomplish what is God’s will for me, and that is time “enough” for me.

The second aspect is that the Bible pushes us to understand time as the matrix of the sacred.  The God of Israel, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, was not a God of place.  Unlike the deities of other Ancient Near Eastern peoples, gods associated with temples, sacred springs, or groves of trees, the God of Israel was the God of events, of happenings in time.  The fact that the Divinity is manifested in history means that time is holy.  “The higher goal of spiritual living is not amass a wealth of information, but to face sacred moments,” Abraham Heschel writes.  “Spiritual life begins to decay when we fail to sense the grandeur of what is eternal in time.”

Living spiritually demands that we be “present tense” people.  The enormity of the concept of ‘God now” bears serious reflection for people who think their relationship with God is important.  Like Heschel, Paul Tillich believes: “There is no other way of judging time that to see it in the light of the eternal.” What is important about time, in short, is its “God content.”​

The third aspect of time I want to discuss is that time is experienced differently in different situations. According to John Donahue, “The quality of our experience always determines the actual rhythm of time.  When you are in pain, every moment slows down until it resembles a week.  When you are happy and really enjoying your life, time flies.”  Time spent with loved ones flies by.  Time spent on a deathbed drags almost unbearably for the loved ones gathered around it.  Three hours in the hospital waiting room during critical surgery is in “real time” much longer than the three hours spent on one’s favorite pastime.

The final reflection or aspect of time to ponder here is the fact that the only time we really have is the present moment, now. 

Now is a gift of God; that is why it is called the present.  The old cliché is true: the past is gone; the future is yet to be. 

If we don’t find God in this present moment, we are unlikely to encounter the Divine at all.  Paul deeply understood this truth and wrote to the Corinthians, “See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation!” (2 Corinthians 6:2)

Time is more than chronology.  Time is opportunity.  The Hebrew prophets thought of history as a continuum of times, each filled with its content by God, and, therefore, each demanding a response from people.  The writers of the New Testament clearly thought of themselves as writing in the time of history.  And so we Christians have a particular reason to understand that time is a function of divine disclosure.  It is the arena of salvation.  It is “the means by which God makes use in order to reveal his gracious working.”  Time is valuable because God has entered time and brought eternity into it.

From Ephesians, we must “make the most of the time” (5:16). What that will mean for each one of us is at the heart of the mystery of our individual and God-given vocation.  

What will you be doing with your time this summer? 

I have had a rather busy time since COVID started last February. I teach full time, and I am in two academic programs. I am doing a Masters of Education in TESOL with Framingham University. I am also taking courses to become a pastor. I have three children, and I love to read with them in the evening. All of this has left me quite exhausted.

I am not exhausted when I am outside looking at nature. Birds, insects, turtles, trees, shrubs, and plants are all things that I enjoy when the stress level is too much.

Another thing I enjoy is a great mystery. Agatha Christie in book or movie form is all-time favorite, and that includes Hercule Poirot and Miss Marple. I could name them all. Murdoch Mysteries, the Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries are more recent ones that have been enjoyed.

The one that might surprise you is that I love reading poetry. Emily Dickenson, Walt Whitman, William Wordsworth, and William Butler Yeats are a few of my favorites. A more contemporary person is Malcolm Guite (pictured above). If you haven't heard any of Malcolm Guite's poetry you are in for a treat.

I am chosen something for you. The festival of Corpus Christi has just passed (Thursday) and this was written in honor of the festival by Malcolm Guite. Corpus Christi celebrates the holy sacrament of communion. Enjoy this rather delightful romp into this sonnet!

​Love’s Choice

This bread is light, dissolving, almost air,
A little visitation on my tongue,
A wafer-thin sensation, hardly there.
This taste of wine is brief in flavour, flung

A moment to the palate’s roof and fled,
Even its aftertaste a memory.
Yet this is how He comes. Through wine and bread
Love chooses to be emptied into me.

He does not come in unimagined light
Too bright to be denied, too absolute
For consciousness, too strong for sight,
Leaving the seer blind, the poet mute;
Chooses instead to seep into each sense,
To dye himself into experience.

This is from Sounding the Seasons. I have a few of his other books too. He is definitely worth checking out on Amazon or wherever you buy books from. I am also including a YouTube link. You can delight in his incredibly messy office and a bit of his mind with the video below. Enjoy!

Finally, I want to ask what you do when you are exhausted and need to energize yourself? Drop a line here or Facebook or even email me...

Do you ever have that feeling that you are on a long and winding path that never seems to end?

I feel that way quite often. I wish I could come to the end of the path of life but it just will not happen soon. 

The pandemic happened and I know that many of you can relate to just wanting it to be over! (I would really to get off!)

As well, I am in two academic programs where graduation feels miles and miles away.

First, I am completing a Masters of Education in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages with Framingham University. I have three more courses left, so I know I am going to get off of this path soon, but it has not happened yet.

Second, I am taking courses to become a minister with the Church of the Nazarene. I enjoy these courses way more than the ones for Framingham University. I have five six week courses left. This program has been going on for about five years because I could arrange the schedule to take these courses during the breaks that I have from my current position teaching English at Korea University. Again, I am on a path that I enjoy, but I really want to get off and feel like a regular person again! 

The path of child-rearing is another path of life where I feel like I am right in the middle. Justin, my eldest son, is in his last year of high school and I know I will be ecstatic when he gets into university. Aidan and Jordan are in elementary school, grade six and grade four. It is going to take a while for this path to complete itself. 

Have you ever had that feeling? You want to get off the path you are on because it hard and its winding. You know that you are going to be a better person when you finish, but you still just want to quit.

That is me today. 

It does not help that I am right before midterms with my teaching job. There are another twelve weeks ahead of me. 

I am definitely on a long and winding path that is completely unique. And then I remembered this poem that I completely fell in love with way, way back in high school.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

I am remembering decisions that have been made over the years. The decision to marry and move to South Korea. I am remembering the decision not to do mission work in Nepal. I am remembering digging my heels into Korean culture and learning how to teach students.

I am also remembering the isolation I felt being a foreigner overseas. But, it has been good. I do enjoy this life that was created from scratch and all the curves on the road that were the result of decisions made.

I am on the path of life. It has been beautiful and hard. It has been lovely and devastating. It has been one where I have taken the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. I am sure I will come to the end of the road some day. 

Lent is that season right before Easter. Even if you have been in the church for a long time, you may not be able to answer all of these questions. In a nutshell, it is the forty days and forty nights where Christians are to give up something in order to feel the full glory of God on Easter Sunday. 

Where did it come from?

In Matthew 4:2, we learn that Jesus spent 40 days in the desert fasting before the devil came and tempted him. He was getting himself ready for his ministry. 

What is the main idea behind Lent?

The main idea is that Jesus allowed himself to be tested. If we are serious about following him, we will do the same.

What do people usually give up for Lent?

Some people actually do the 40 days of fasting, but there are other options. You could give up chocolate, salty snacks, or even coffee for Lent. Children could give up candy.

When did Lent start?

It started in the fourth century. Traditionally, it is associated with penitence, fasting, alms giving, and prayer. It is a time for giving things up balanced by giving to those in need. 

How should one approach Lent?

The best way to approach Lent is see it as an opportunity. Lent actually means spring time. It is a little hard to get one's head around this but out of the darkness of sin's winter, a repentant, empowered people emerge. It truly is a joy-filled season. 

Why should one be surprised by joy during Lent?

Our self-sacrifice, what it that may be, serves no purpose unless we are able to satisfy the heart's deepest longing, unity with Christ. In Christ - in his suffering and death, his resurrection and triumph - we found our truest joy. 

This joy is costly. It arises from the reality of our sin, which crucified Christ. Meister Eckhart points out that those who have the hardest time with Lent are "the good people". Most of us are willing to give one or two things; and we may also admit our need for renewal. But actually die with Christ?

Another way to look at joy is see that our need for repentance cannot erase the good news that Christ overcame all sin. Christ' resurrection frees us from ourselves. His beautiful, empty tomb turns our attention away from all that is wrong with us and with the world, and spurs us on to experience the abundant life he promises. 

Do you want to experience that life? I know I do.

Advent Season began on Sunday. This is my favorite time of the year with all the beauty and stillness that come with it. It is time to sit and be still, to think, to ponder, to wonder, and to reach for hope.

Advent means coming. The birth of Jesus is coming. We are waiting for this event that brings hope, light, and goodness into this world. 

The boys and I are taking out the Advent Candle holder in the evenings. I read Scripture to them and we pray together. after supper We are also reading one of the many Christmas storybooks that I have collected over the years. I have three little Christmas sacks that I hide them in, and the boys take turns picking one to read. 

Yesterday was the first day that they were actually quite calm for the Advent readings. They answered questions and prayed. I had a moment where I thought "Wow" and was absolutely delighted that no one was insulting anyone. It was a joy!

And just in case you were wondering, we do have favorite storybooks that we read over and over again. I will share three of them here.
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Mr. Willowby's Christmas Tree is a delightful story of the tip of the Christmas tree being cut off in order for it to fit in Mr. Willowby's front room. The top of the tree travels to another part of the house, out of the house, and around the the neighborhood as all kinds of animals find it, are delighted with it, and then end up trimming it a little bit more in order to make it fit perfectly into whatever space they are dealing with.

This storybook is written as a long poem with rather delightful language. I enjoyed each and every rhyme. 

Yes, this was made into a TV movie back in 1995. Check it out on Youtube! 

The last book I will mention is Song of the Stars by Sally Lloyd Jones. Yes, this is the same person that wrote The Jesus Storybook Bible. This one features creation. Each and every animals is excited about the coming birth of Jesus. They seem to sense the magnificence of the event that is about to take place. Of course, the story culminates in the stable where all the animals gather around to see the baby who was born in a manger.
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Another Advent tradition I have is the reading of great poetry. I enjoy this because it is one way to be still and just savor the moment. We all need these moments where nothing is happening, all is quiet, and just sit with ourselves.

There are too many good poets to mention here, so I will save it until next year! 

Mornings are getting harder and harder for me. Today was the third time this week that I was not able to get up when I should have.

Mornings and I used to be old friends. I wake before the light with no alarm. I would look at my children asleep in their beds, do morning devotions, read emails, and then go back to sleep. I enjoyed this time before the sun was up. And now I just can't seem to do it.

It's that moment just after waking that tries me.

I mean to begin each day by turning my thoughts God-ward. By breathing thanks for another morning as soon as I know it has come. By taking a few deep breaths measured by short prayers: "Author of everthing (in), enfold me in Your love (out)." Or, "Remember Your mercies, Lord (in). In Your love, remember me (out)."

Some mornings I do just that, and I manage to make a pretty good beginning.

Other mornings my thoughts are all over the place. They skitter frantic and undirected like squirrels on a lawn, twitchy with anxiety. Do you ever feel that way?

I often think of a coming deadline or a paper I am writing or a worrisome conflict.

I imagine possible disasters spun from nothing or of danger to those I love. My heart begins to race before I've done a thing, and I feel helpless to restore its pre-waking, metronome rhythm.

I know how quickly things can go wrong, and I feel more defenseless before the battle happens than when it actually comes.

The morning skirmish is one of imagined scenarios. Imagination is a powerful thing.

C. S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, "...the real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings, coming in out of the wind."

Yes to the larger, stronger, quieter life that flows from Christ Jesus my Lord. Yes to coming in out of the wind. Yes for today, for this morning's skirmish. Yes.
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But I will sing of your strength;
    I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.
For you have been to me a fortress
    and a refuge in the day of my distress.
O my Strength, I will sing praises to you,
    for you, O God, are my fortress,
    the God who shows me steadfast love.
(Psalm 59: 16-17)

It is good to be back after taking a break from the blog for a few weeks! I feel refreshed and I am ready for the semester to begin. It is a new beginning.
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Don’t you love new beginnings? I am looking forward to a new beginning with my children. I am wondering and imagining what my legacy will be with them. I have been praying that Justin, Aidan, and Jordan are having a beautiful childhood where they will realize that their faith has been modeled to them.

I do teach them Bible verses. One of the verses I have pondered is in Ephesians. “I pray that the eyes of my heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints” (1:18). Paul was writing about wonder and imagination playing a part in the lives of those who know Christ. When he prays that the “eyes of your heart” be enlightened, he is saying he desires the eyes of the place inside us – where we have our heart, mind, soul, and personality moving in unity to create our inner self – to be awakened to the countless resources of truth, comfort, companionship, eternal love, and the sublime beauty of God.

Isn’t that what faith is? The seeing with the eyes of the heart what we cannot see with our physical eyes? Seeing with the eyes of our heart combines our minds that acquires truth, our heart that imagines and fill in context and story details, and our soul instructed by the Holy Spirit to understand nuances of light, goodness and beauty. And so, as I seek to educate the three beautiful boys of mine about the transcendent, infinite God, I show them His reality by exploring what we all see and wonder at and imagine when we view the art of His night sky. We wonder profound thoughts by read the Word that tell us His stories and learning about the heavens and creation with our mind, which can study and access scientific details about stars and galaxies, and synthesize it together. But to fully engage in the transcendence of God, we must imagine, wonder and ponder the truths, His creation, and His story. It is always beautiful when a part of our story becomes a part of His bigger story.

I am learning about how teach the stories of Scripture to them. I am imagining the stage by imagining the scenes together. Through pondering, they can conceptualize what was like to walk the dusty roads packed with adults and children, dogs, cats, to hear Roman guards riding on horses, spears in their hands, yelling and pushing people out of the way, to hear the sounds of the little lambs bleating on the way to the market; to understand the thirst and sweat and smells surrounding Jesus as He walked the roads of Jerusalem and shopped at the market. Wonder gives context to the words Jesus spoke. We imagine with our children. “There was a little boy just like you who loved to run and chase the dog.” Or, “Maybe in the fields, a girl just like you collected a bouquet of wild flowers as she heard the comforting words of Jesus giving the Sermon on the Mount.” Without imagining what the atmosphere was like, who the people were in the story, what their needs, fears, and demands were, we do not get the whole context. Entering into the story as real-time experience opens our hearts to the messages given there. We seek to get to the heart of God in order to engage the heart of our children. 

Education is discipleship. Just as I am teaching students how to go through a process to see change in their English level, I am teaching my children daily about discipleship. Whoever inspires learning is not passive but actively passing on a world view. It is important to seize the opportunity and freedom to help my children see the world through the eyes of faith, with the values that I think are foundational. 

Of course, Jesus is my model for discipleship. He walked through the days with His disciples, loving them, teaching them, serving them food, showing compassion for their exhaustion, healing people, answering their questions.  I am hoping my children will have an essential understanding of this. It is not my goal to pass on head knowledge, legalism, or moralism but to pass on a real, life-giving faith that addresses the needs, hopes, desires, longings, feelings, and questions of a person in a daily relationship with God. 
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Of course, the most important thing I can teach to anyone is that God came down from heaven to earth so we could begin to know him and relate to him as His friends. We are His beloved children. It is relationship with him that we were made for. This is the legacy I want to leave to Justin, Aidan, and Jordan.  

Okay, I admit it. At times, I just want to escape...

I just want to run away from my life. The noise of children, the television, my husband's voice. I am often too tired to handle or process any of it.

I just want to run...

To just disappear, like Houdini, from situations and people that feel threatening or uncomfortable.

Silence in our house is both a blessing and curse. I let silence make a moat around me to keep risk or vulnerability at bay.

I never do run though.

Because the trouble with running away is that you never learn what happens when you stay. It could be something painful...or something exquisitely good.

There are times when removing yourself from dysfunction is necessary, but running from everyday unease often means never risking the possibility that staying put might just be the greatest adventure of all.

Stay with me for this moment.

In Jesus' story of the prodigal son, the stay-at-home brother resented the run-away one. He couldn't understand why he didn't get more credit for staying put or why the runaway was welcomed with a feast.

When he told his father how he felt the father reminded him, "All I have has been yours this whole time."

I did some background reading on this story. The Father actually runs to meet his son! This is actually a story well known in Jewish culture. In the original story, the son is ostracized by his father and by the community and it starts by the city gate...

The Father runs to the son to get to him before the elders do. He runs to tell him how much he loves him and how glad he is to be back home! He knows the consequences of his son showing up at this point and tries to prevent it. He saves his son in more than one way in this story.

Let's go back to the elder brother. The elder brother could have pressed in and enjoyed what belonged to him, but he did not. 

Even though he stayed, his heart was far from his father's. The Father and the Prodigal were probably having a great time while the brother...

Where is your heart? Are you going through the motions and feeling the emotions? Are you truly living? Are you genuinely enjoying relationships? 

Habits of the heart don't change overnight. But stories can be re-written--even old ones--one line at a time.  The Father's heart is always for his children. 

This is probably why I like writing as much as I do. Changing things one line at a time makes good sense. Jesus changed this well known story and it has been told a thousand times over.
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So today I'm resisting the urge to run, and learning to stay and love the goodness that has long been mine, no suitcase in sight.

His father said to him, "Look, dear son, you have always stayed with me and everything I have is yours." (Luke 15:31)