​It's a bit of an odd month with the Kim Clan. Aidan had some trouble at school recently with his teacher and I am at a loss to understand the man. A few weeks ago, my husband got a phone call where he was told that Aidan was under disciplinary action for swearing. My husband was shocked and questioned Aidan about the incident at school.

It turns out it is quite possibly the teacher and the system that should be put under disciplinary action. There was a girl in class who brushed up against Aidan and put her hand extremely close to his private parts. Aidan, of course, reacted to this, saying "Sexual assault!" The teacher noticed the interaction and asked the girl what she was doing. The girl, of course, denied everything, and the teacher took her side. This, apparently, pushed Aidan over the edge and profanities came out of his mouth. This incident had been a series in a long time of interactions with the teacher where Aidan's voice was not heard. I believe all of the frustrations of not having the teacher hear you or protect you proved too much for him.

Of course, Aidan was punished for swearing. He is an extremely bright kid who needs to take a little less pleasure in the insulting language he and his friends engage in.

It turns out that in Korean culture, when a child gets in trouble at school, he or she is required to write out what happened in the presence of the teacher and the principal. And this is what resulted with this incident. My husband seems to think that a parent should also be involved in this process. He made quite the point of asking Aidan a long series of questions to make sure he understood what had happened as clearly as possible. Aidan had to amend or change quite a bit of his statement.

Because this is a potential sexual harassment case, Hansung (my husband) made some phone calls. The calls were made to different authorities. Information was gathered. and Aidan was told to not sign any other documents at school. 

The child had to defend himself to the Parents Advisory Council on Monday. He just kept repeating that he swore but he did not swear at the teacher. 

Two days later, the teacher approached him about what he wrote. Aidan said he wasn't going to sign anything. The teacher told him to just read it. Apparently, Aidan corrected something, signed the paper, and sent it to his Dad.

My husband was not pleased that Aidan had signed the paper. We spent most of the evening trying to understand how Aidan had been manipulated until my husband just looked at him and said, "You are not somebody!" I believe he just wanted Aidan to acknowledge that he had not listened to his father.

That was a terrible night. I had three different things due at the end of the week. My mind had been in stuck in public policy for English Language learners until it was rudely interrupted with the ongoing saga of what was going on with Aidan. 

And that is where we leave this unfortunately tale as it is not finished yet. And I just keep coming back to the stories Aidan told about his teacher before the whole thing happened and how nobody really liked him. 

________

On a much lighter note, Jordan brings a smile to my face with his little boy smile and little boy ways. I really love that he always runs up to me and gives me a hug when he sees me outside. He is always polite, saying goodbye to me in the morning and announcing when he has come home. 

Jordan's teacher is pleased with his work at school and with him. His teacher is a Christian and commented to my husband about Jordan when they were doing street crossing duty in the morning. 

_________

On a much lighter note, today is Justin's birthday. He turns 18. I just keep smiling when I realize that by Canadian law he is considered an adult. We will have a meal of pork ribs later today as this is what he asked for. Afterwards, there is a plan to go to Baskin Robbins 31 for ice cream. I am just praying that the positive energy from Justin's birthday is going to outweigh all the negative crap from this week. 

On June 25th, eighteen years ago, I was at the doctor's for a prenatal check. We were back at the doctors just a few hours later. That beautiful boy was born in the evening around 8:00. I remember the angels dancing around the room when they placed that sweet bundle beside me in the recovery room. He was sleepy, but he smiled.

__________

What stories do you have about what is going on in your life? I would love to hear all about it! 

We are in the middle of a lockdown because of COVID 19. Everyone is home and we are all driving each other crazy. The boys are fighting while my husband is on the phone with coworkers, and I do not like it all.

I don't like it so much that I actually prayed it was alright for Jesus to take me during the night. 

But I woke up the next morning to find them all fighting again.

What would you do?

I took away their screens. The fighting actually got louder.

I talked to them about getting along with each other. Justin yelled at Aidan and Jordan for not listening.

I yelled at them when the noise was just too much for me to bear it all.

And then I saw something...

In the living room, dog-piled on the new chair, were all three boys lying on each other laughing, playing, and carrying on.

I was shocked!

They were speaking loudly.

Is this just their way? I ask this so quietly I barely heard myself.

That moment is just how my clan rolls.

They fight and argue with each other. It's loud and brash and awful.

They also have loving moments where you are just so surprised that you are witnessing it.

Yesterday, Justin was trying really hard to get Aidan to get the healthy rice that was served for lunch. He actually recorded it on his phone.

I did catch both Aidan and Justin laughing later at the video that resulted. Aidan knew how ridiculous he was being.

Jordan had trouble that day with food, which is just him in a nutshell. My baby that had so many food allergies has many food items that he does not like. He has trouble with spaghetti, not enjoying the sauce. He also does not kimchi or kimchi.

Yes, you read that right. He is a Korean kid that does not like kimchi. 

Their stubbornness comes out when they are fighting, but the love they have for each other also spills forth.

And this the blessing of family in all of its unusual glory.

We all have moments where we put things aside, work with the person who is telling us something we really do not want to hear, smile, and keep going.

We are all children of God and we know it.
​
We give because we love each other.

But I really do wish the house was quieter!

​God bless your New Year!
​

I love the season of Advent and and all the majesty that starts with the beginning of the church year. Advent, originally from the Latin word Advenio, means coming to. It starts four Sundays before Christmas and has two purposes. It is to prepare us for the celebration of the birth of Christ and it reminds that we are eagerly waiting for Jesus' return in glory. Advent, arrival, invasion, coming. Christ is coming!

We had a great start! In the morning the boys, of course, love discovering the chocolates in our hanging Advent calendar in the kitchen. I can hear and see delight with God’s word and chocolate to celebrate God’s word. 

In the evening, we are using Ann Voskamp's beautiful Advent book for children that has the pop up Christmas tree. Jordan loves opening up the book and putting the beautifully done decorations on the tree. First, we are reading one of the devotions from that book every night, praying, and asking questions. Second, we are reading Christmas picture books. The boys are taking turns picking the next Christmas book out of some 'wrapped' books In our Advent basket.

Why am I doing this?

First, it is giving me an opportunity to tell an overview of Bible stories and show the boys how Jesus is the Rescuer. He rescues us from our sin.

Second, it always all of us to grow a little in terms of consistency and discipline. (Last year we managed to get about half way through Advent before the challenge of consistency became difficult!)

Third, it gives the boys an opportunity for their faith to spiral inward. Those little Hands that flung the stars and planets into their places now reach inside us to grip and hold our hearts. 

Fourth, it gives the boys an opportunity for their faith to spiral outward. They are learning about the Ultimate Giver. As they think and prepare gifts for family members and an act of service, they grow a little in how to express love and appreciation for each other.

Fourth, I love the consistency of paying attention to light and beauty. The Christmas story strikes again as beauty in the midst of chaos. Celebration in the midst of craziness. It seizes my attention. In this barren, broken stretch with no snow on the ground, the tree captures my imagination.

That gorgeous tree is defiant beauty. In a world where people continue to choose themselves, where ugliness happens, where sin seems unchecked, where daily assaults take their tool, we can point to the defiant beauty of a selfless life, seeking first the King of God, putting others first, and even sacrificing. All to proclaim the truth of something great than ourselves.

Other small gifts along the way:

Jordan loves picking the Christmas books which means he is growing in understanding the gift of reading.

Aidan grabbed the devotional last night, read the Bible verse, and started to read the meditation!

Justin even managed to learn about the light and turn it into a science experiment. Apparently, all things wax can enthrall a teenager!

Our other highlight has been light. The light and wonder of our Lord is all around us. It is displayed in candles, on the Christmas tree, in Christmas lights around our home. Light and beauty. Holiness is coming down soon!

Did you know that O come O Come Emmanuel has been sung in monasteries for 1 500 years? This song and other like it are called O' Antiphons because they began with "O" and were followed by a name of Christ. There were seven O' Antiphones and one was meant to be sung each day the week before Christmas. Here is the interesting part! The first letter of each antiphon adds up to an acrostic in Latin which read "ero cras" which means tomorrow I will be there, an anticipation of Christ's coming. 

Here is what they sang:
17 December: O Sapientia (O Wisdom)                                                   
18 December: O Adonai (O Lord)                                       
19 December: O Radix Jesse (O Root of Jesse)                     
20 December: O Clavis David (O Key of David)                     
21 December: O Oriens (O Dayspring)                     
22 December: O Rex Gentium (O King of the Nations)       
23 December: O Emmanuel (O With Us is God)

May God bless you and your family as you move towards Christ's coming! I can feel the Spirit of the Lord moving in prayer all around me as I walk through Advent.

I would love to hear what you have done for Advent and/or what you are doing for Advent this year. I welcome you to drop a line in the comments or post on Facebook. 

Grace and peace!

Virginia
​
“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.”
— John 1:14

Summer vacation started last week. The boys and I finished our classes at the end of the week. I had everything finished, including the grading, by Friday at 2:00 and everyone was home at 3:00 in the afternoon! We celebrated over the weekend with some easy homemade meals, family movie night, and an evening at the spa for the whole family (this probably seems strange to all the westerners reading this unless you have been th Korea and enjoy the Jimjilbang or 짐질방).

Earlier this week we went up into Seoul to visit Hansung’s sister and grandma!  I managed to get the boys to write letters and buy a little gift for both ladies before the big event. Grandma genuinely enjoyed reading their letters and clapped her hands when each grandson finished. This then turned into a sing-song for the next 30 minutes. Aidan and Jordan sang children’s songs in Korean, Justin sang an Italian opera song that he had memorized in music class last year and my hubby joined in on that one after looking up the lyrics. The singing continued in Korean with Hansung’s sister and her husband singing old Korean country songs. I was gearing up for Edelweiss because I thought grandma would recognize it when the whole event ended. Grandma was tired from all the young stimulation in the room. The art of the song was more noisy stimulation than actual art!

I laughed when she called me an excellent woman for taking care of three boys. I leaned in and told her it was actually four boys and she burst out in hysterics. It was a good visit and I think we gave her some good memories!

_______

It turns out little boys know swear words in Korean and it was time to put a stop to it. 

“If you swear, you have to eat soap! It will make your mouth clean and take out all those dirty words!”

Jordan replied to this without missing a beat! “Mom, you too! No swearing!” I agreed.

It turns out that soap has only been eaten once to change someone’s language. Yes, it was the little guy!

______

Justin has inspired to the boys to burst into short sentences from Black Panther. He taught Aidan and Jordan “Ee Pompei” which is some kind of war cry. They all break out with this whenever more than two of them are in trouble!

______

Aidan was the first place winner for cute sayings when he woke up, rolled over, and declared, “I want to sleep forever but I should get up!”

_______

i have been thinking a lot about language from stories that keep us connected. We have been reading Kate Di Camillo’s Mercy Watson series. (If you haven’t read these, you really should! They are hilarious stories about a pig that basically lives as a child, not a pet!) There is a great part about two-thirds of the way through the first book where the pig is described. “She is amazing! ... She is unbelievable! She is a porcine wonder!”

These are great lines that the kids have been using around the house. Jordan finished his meal the other night and Aidan declared, “HE is amazing! ... He is unbelievable! He is a porcine wonder!” It was a great family moment with Justin and myself busting with laughter.

Stories connect us in special ways. Of course, there are amazing benefits in terms of academics, improved listening skills, improved vocabulary, but I love how other stories have become a part of the way my children and I speak to each other! They get to experience another life, learn from it, and apply it to their own! Magic and astonishment in a new way! 

Narratives of all kinds bless us. Even those epic narratives in the Bible!
​

We have spent the month of April having fun, enjoying spring, and planting gardens.  Of course, this has been done in between teaching twenty one hours of classes at Korea University and helping a church start an English service for children and youth. Here are a few stories about us.

Jordan has turned into an inventor and builder.  He snuck off the other day with the recycling boxes and plastic bottles.  I thought the child was doing his assigned job of putting the recycling into the baskets beside the front door.  What I didn't know is that he took a turn into our little library/piano room and starting cutting and building.  

Jordan just started elementary school and something the teacher said has inspired all this cutting and building.  I have discovered "new toyboxes" along with towers, buildings, interesting contraptions requiring pieces of water bottles, and others.  I'm resisting the urge to throw it all away because of all the creative activity that is going into this slightly unique endeavor.

He also had a loose tooth for over a month.  He refused to let any of us help him with it at all.  I think it was Justin who offered to pull it out for him, and then, suddenly, he was okay with me wiggling his tooth. Low and behold, one quick yank with only a little squeak out of the boy resulted and we had a tooth to put under the pillow so the tooth fairy could finally join us!

———--
Aidan fairly assessed being class captain the other day.  Generally, I thought he was happy about being in charge of his class and getting to tell them about things happening at school.  I did giggle a little when he admitted, "Mommy, sometimes my classmates don't want to listen to me.  It's a bit of a headache to get their attention and make them listen."  I have had similar thoughts about leading and teaching different groups, but was definitely impressed with his ability to explain his problem easily at such a young age.  

This Friday he goes on his first leadership training program.  He and other class captains will spend time with teachers and other leaders and learn some better ways of leading their classes.  I'm all ears for this because I could definitely use the inspiration myself.

​———--

Justin is just about to finish another round of exams.  I have watched him studying in his room quite frequently over the past month.  The tribulations of middle school seem to fall off of his shoulders easily. (Should I be worried that this kid just doesn't stress out at all?)

He continues to have a great sense of humor.  Getting me to laugh or even giggle can be a struggle on most days.  But he manages this quite well.  He has wit and humor on the best and worst of days.  I am blessed to have him as a son.

———--
I spent about 40 000 won (about $45) on a garden for this spring. We have lettuce and mainly herbs growing in pots and containers on our balcony. Things are starting to grow.

i love the effect that care for the garden has on the boys! They learn to consistently take care of something and we all benefit. The garden grows just as the children do!

It's the middle of January with record low temperatures here in Jochiwon.  The kids, the students, the parents, and the adults all want to hibernate.  This morning I enjoyed watching Jordan go from sleeping with out any covers to wrapping himself in the covers and pulling them over his head!  It was adorable up until the point where his brothers came in and tried to wake him up.  He even said, "Do I really have to get up?  This bed is soft and cozy and the air is cold!"  In many ways, I concur.

​We had a delightful Christmas!  The boys almost enjoyed opening up a ton of books on Christmas morning, and they were even more thrilled with Safari Walkie Talkies, new devices, and a cold coffee drip for the big guy!  I, of course, pulled together a turkey dinner that took over three hours to put together from start to finish.  I made sure they ate leftovers for the rest the day and into New Years.  The beautiful thing about Christmas really is turkey leftovers!

The other beautiful part of the holiday was New Years Day.  We had quite the slow morning and afternoon doing very little.  About mid-afternoon, we went to KongJu to visit the bathhouses.  I delighted in this because I was alone for an hour without anyone asking for something or dropping something on the floor!  

The real highlight came afterwards when we drove to Outback Steak House for our New Years Supper! This supper had been months in the planning.  Justin had mentioned to Hansung back in the spring that he wanted to earn money and take everyone out on Christmas or New Years Day (he was remembering a Christmas dinner from many years ago when we only had one son!).  My husband promised to give Justin 100 000 won if he got 100 points on any test that he took this year.  Around midterms, Justin achieved the impossible and earned 100 points on the science section of his exams!  Justin proudly took that money and hid it away.  He also managed to get Aidan and Jordan in on the fun as well.  They had more than enough money to pay for everyone's meal!

Justin, of course, took great delight in the ribs that Outback Steakhouse is famous for.  Aidan was the real highlight to watch that night!  I thought the child's eyes were going to bug out of his head when he saw all the food that laid out in front of him.  He tasted absolutely everything which is something for a child who is rather picky.  He tried the chili and the mushroom soup starters, ate some of Jordan's fries, and ate a full plate of baby back ribs.  I don't think I had ever seen the child eat that much food ever!

A few days later, Aidan had a great scheme in his head that he asked his daddy about.  He has decided that he is going to save money to take the family on a trip.  He was asking about prices on airfare, accommodation, and food for traveling overseas.  This is still in its infancy stage, but I believe he will make a trip to Japan happen sometime in the not so distant future!

Jordan's birthday just passed and he was adorable.  My little boy is growing up and learning how to make his own birthday fun!

It started at the end of September. On the last day of the month, I said to him there are 17 more sleeps until his birthday.  The following day, it started.

"Mommy, how many more sleeps until my birthday?"

"Sixteen more sleeps Jordan!"

"Okay!"

And on it went for another fifteen days.

Daddy heard one of these interactions and decided to add on some fun of his own.  

"Jordan, you have to get people excited about your birthday."

I could see his little eyes contemplating the thought but not sure what to do about it.

"Jordan, you have to tell people that your birthday is going to be great.  You have to say that we get to eat cake and play games and have fun."

"Okay Daddy!"

That night when I was putting him to bed and moments before he fell asleep he asked me in a most serious voice, "Mommy!  How can I get people excited about my birthday?"

I told him I would think about it and we could talk about it the following morning at breakfast.  

Sure enough, he asked and Hansung and I both explained how he could his brothers excited about his birthday!  

And just in case anyone wants to know, he got two amazing gifts.  The first one was a transforming robot that happens to store small cars that also transform into much smaller robots.  The other one, you guessed it, was a different transforming robot that he also adores.  I do like it when he is more excited about his toys than what he is watching on television or Youtube. 

******

Another story revolves around Justin and his enjoyment of food.  Hansung has taken up grilling as of late which has resulted in some magnificent meals including our anniversary celebration.  He roasted lamb, potatoes, and carrots and I was in food heaven.  So was Justin.

When he saw the grilling pan he exclaimed, "Oh Daddy! I can feel your love!"

This went on for the whole meal with Justin declaring Dad's love through almost every bite.

The clincher came at the end when he was served ice cream cake.  "Oh Daddy!  Thank you for marrying Mommy and including me in your anniversary celebration.  Your love is very, very deep!"

I laughed so hard, I cried.

Justin is a special boy!

*******
Almost every day at 8:10 am Aidan's little friend Minsu shows up at the door and they walk together to school.  I forgot how absolutely delightful it is to have a consistent friend in grade two.  He beams every time he sees this little boy.

*******

What I have learned for the month of September from my children is that friends, food, and excitement about birthdays are all very important.  

I imagine this banquet of faith, friends and food to be an amazing space where all are enthralled to be there.  We get glimpses of it every now and then with what we share and celebrate with family and friends.  

Summer 2016 proved to be a whirlwind for our family.  Aidan and Jordan fell in love with my sister's dogs and their second cousins in Canada.  Every night I hear prayers for Cael, Austin, Mikey, and Phoenix (these would be the cousins!) and for Sadie, Storm, and Spike! Too cute!

In other news, the Summer Bible Adventure finished at church at the end of August.  The kids had been in learning stations all summer long which was very cool.  One of the stations was a reading nook which was very cool! My cute little Jordan won a third place prize by reading/looking at 18 books! I thank the person who helped him 'read' all those books.  But it's had a good effect...

We have a wonderful picture book on the bookshelf entitled ...

Jordan loves this book and its fun quirky pictures! I have watched him a few times pull the book off the shelf close to bed time, turn the pages, look at the pictures, and 'read' the book to himself.  "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.  I don't know why she swallowed the fly.  Perhaps she will die...There was an old lady who swallowed a spider.  It wiggled inside her..."  

We have extended the reading nook idea into our bedtime routine. Everyone pulls 3 books off the shelf they want to 'read' before bed.  Guess which book Jordan pulls out?

Another fun story happened last week with our weekly Bible verse.  The earth belongs to God.  Everything in all the world is His.  Psalm 24:1.  We read this verse out loud together at the supper table.  Aidan got very quiet and I saw his eyes moving up and down.  

​"Really?  Does God really own everything?"  

"Yes, honey!"

"Does he own this building?"

"In a way, yes!"

"How is that possible?"

"Well, He made you and me made me and he made the men who built this building.  Because the men can't take the building with them when they die, they don't really own the building."

"That's really amazing when you think about it!"

"It is!  It really is!"

Another related story is about him rushing into the house at 3:58 on Tuesday afternoon!

"Mom, I'm late!  Can you give me a ride to Taekwondo!"

"I can't today.  I'm busy working.  Your fast feet will have to carry you!"

"I don't have fast feet.  Mom, please help! I am going to change my clothes and come back."

I continue to work not even thinking about the request.

"Mom, I've changed my clothes!  Can you please give me a ride?  I hate being late.  You hate being late.  I'm just like you!  Help me not to be late please!"

"Aidan, were you playing with your friends outside?"

"No, I came straight from piano!  I'm just late."

After a few more questions determining that he had not been outside playing with anyone, I did give him a ride.  Like mother, like son for this one!

And Justin.  What is there to say about Justin?  Well, I'll leave a few highlights here.  Puberty is upon us.  I have man-child.  His voice is starting to change.  He sings opera in the shower.  He dances when he comes out of the shower.  He loves to tease his brothers!  He loves to tease his mother! He loves to have fun even when he is the only one laughing...  and I will spare you the joy of pictures of him dancing after the shower!

In other news, Hansung and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary over the weekend.  18 years!  How did that happen so quickly?

There has been a record amount of snow over the past few weeks. So much so that my youngest son ran to the window and said,"Wow! Will Christmas come one more time?" Loved that little moment.

Speaking of Jordan, I have a cute story involving a ladder and danger.  Daddy has graciously built the boys bunk beds and Jordan took about 5 seconds before he rushed up the ladder.
"Jordan, that's dangerous! You should come down!"
He took one step down. "Mommy, I'm not dangerous!"
"Jordan, it's dangerous. You need to come down!"
One more step down, "Mommy, I'm not dangerous!"
"No, you are not dangerous, but the ladder is dangerous! You should come down.""
All the way down this time. "Okay, I'm not dangerous anymore!"
"Thanks, kiddo!"

Justin has been off school for about a month.  He is going to middle school in March, and he has been studying English, math, and reviewing subjects to get himself ready for a placement test that he took on Thursday.  He has also been memorising English vocabulary words.  He has been drilling himself 40 words a day since the beginning of January.  So this month, he has learned the spelling to about 1000 words, probably more.  Justin, on the off chance you read this, I am very proud of you and this accomplishment.  

Justin also graduated from Global Bridge, a math and science program for international families that runs out of Korea National University of Education.  Check out the shot at the top with Justin's head on a plate on table.  How did they do that?

Aidan wanted to get in on the action of copying Justin this month.  Daddy made up a few flashcards for him to learn some English words.  Shortly after this development, he declared that he wanted to be a teacher.  
"I'm learning English letters and Chinese letters at school.  I don't know what to do with them, so I should pass it on to someone else!"
An interesting point, indeed!

The weather improved yesterday.  The snow has melted and maybe a walk outside is possible this afternoon.  Enjoy your Sunday everyone!

Did you sing to yourself a little when you read the title to this blog post?  It's the season for singing!  Sing loudly, sing softly, sing merrily, sing happily, sing easily, sing it out!  Pick a Christmas carol and do your best to finish it!

Speaking of singing, let's start with Jordan.  Jordan knows about half the words to each and every Christmas song.  It started last month with the GIVE ME A J-E-S-U-S song from Children's Church.  He got the letters mixed up with is terribly cute but his older brother informed him that he wasn't singing it properly. This didn't dampen his spirit at all.  He knows half the words to JINGLE BELLS, WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, and another song from Children's Church IT'S THE B-I-B-L-E.  My little guy is following in his father's footsteps in singing in a loud and clear voice, but not quite knowing all the words to a song!  

Justin is another one exhibiting interesting Christmas behavior.  He was Joseph last week in Children's Church.  I told him he didn't have to say anything, he just had to act a little.  He traveled with Mary and the donkey from Nazareth all the way to Bethlehem (this started in the classroom, down the hallway, into another classroom, out a different door, down the hallway the other way, back into classroom, and around some desks).  He showed very little interest in Mary and seemed to resent the little boy (the donkey) who was holding Mary's hand.  We get to do it again next week. He laughed when I told he should do more to take care of Mary.  Do you think he will be a better Joseph the second time around?

Aidan continues to love Lego and crafts.  We have made a few visits to the Jam Block store.  Kids can rent a LEGO set for an hour or 2, make the model, take a picture, and come back another day to do a totally different Lego model.  He loves it!  I  thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head the first time we went in there.  What a blast watching him put Lego models together!  He also did Christmas crafts with me last Saturday.  He sat with me doing sticker mosaics for an hour and half before he said, "Mommy I would like to stop now."  He made a set of mosaic silver bells, a Santa and his reindeer picture, and we even worked on a mosaic Christmas tree.  

These boys continue to bring light into my life.  Isn't that appropriate at Christmas?